I’ll Drink the Wine:
Two steps from sober in rural China or how I learned to stop worrying and belly up to the bar.

(from the forthcoming collection of essays The Photographs Not Taken by Will Steacy)

Drinking was not optional. Nor had it been for the three days previous, three days occupied mostly with the pursuit of decadence and indulgence. Now, as I vainly attempted to fill my empty stomach with something other than Chinese merlot I dreaded looking across the table at the array of police and government officials seated there. I dreaded this because my gaze would inevitably be met by the ear-to-ear grin of that tax collector with his damn glass of booze. But it was already too late. His puppy-dog eyes and whinny little grunt signaled that it was my turn to drink, my turn once again to salud to the health (or imminent death by alcohol poisoning) of the men assembled around this banquet of sea foods, liquors, and cigarettes. I rose slowly from my chair and summoned what I could of a smile, watching first as he downed his entire glass of wine in one gulp and then turned his empty cup upside-down taunting me to do the same. Of course I obliged. I had not choice. I had learned previously that noncompliance was not an option, a mutiny that would only be met with the groups disapproval and unanimous demand that I immediately do my duty and drink. I was their hostage, imprisoned in a series or over lit restaurants excessively adorned with food sculptures, flat screen TVs, and unconsumed delicacies in what amounted to a never-ending drinking game. For it seemed that this tribe of fat cats survived solely on the nutrients afforded by booze and cigarettes, the only alcohol exempt meal being breakfast.


In China where your manhood is determined by the amount of alcohol you can consume I had managed a fair amount of success when it came to social affairs. Even as I struggled with the language I was able to excel at the drinking contests and unspoken challenges that having dinner with Chinese men involves. I was often praised for my ability to stomach baijiu, Chinese rice wine, and for the fact that I seldom drank to the point of vomiting. Hand in hand with the culture of dinking goes the act of sharing and smoking cigarettes as both an icebreaker and reinforcement of friendship. Offering an expensive cigarette to a prospective business partner or new acquaintance is a necessary sign of respect and friendship; handing him a cheaper brand a slap in the face. It is no wonder then with the amount of business happening in China that the highest rates of cancer, respectively, are lung and liver and that nearly 70 percent of Chinese men are smokers. And so it was that through the affliction of these two vices I had been able to circumvent the constraints of language and parlay myself into the good favor of many a powerful man.

“ You better smoke one now. It is polite.” My friend Johnny was whispering in my ear the rules of etiquette as his friend offered me a cigarette for the millionth time. A retired boxer from Beijing, Johnny (his anglicized name) had also previously worked in the government in a vague position having something to do with land development. It was he who had invited us along with him to Fujian province and the rural prefecture where he had held sway. Being his first time back in a few years we were greeted with warmth and generosity by his old friends and coworkers. We didn’t mind that his motives in bringing along two foreigners had more to do with his status in a town that rarely saw visitors than his desire for our company. This was China and we were used to it. Being someone’s token foreigner was often a ticket into worlds otherwise inaccessible, in this case the life of county level government officials and the leisure afforded them by their expense accounts.


When I look back at the images I did manage to produce during that hazy weekend I see what an opportunity it was and what a waste that I succumbed to the constraints of my liver and lungs and followed those most fickle of organs back home to safety. I had gone there to photograph but in the end I skipped out early, backed away from the bar, and left without saying goodbye. After three days of non-stop indulgence things were getting on my nerves. I was sick from the drink and being in a state of perpetual hangover, and frustrated by the way we were carted around like monkeys, never allowed to stray from the group for our hosts’ fear of losing face. We were something for him to show off; a kind of status often afforded foreigners in interior China when their host is in need of praise from those he does business with. Johnny, having returned for the first time to his former home and still holding property in the area, was certainly looking to solidify his relations with those in position to help him. And so the tension culminated the night before our departure when after many hours of karaoke I decided to go to sleep at the hotel. Surrounded by overweight middle age men and the teenage escort girls they had hired to pour drinks I attempted to say goodbye and leave. Johnny and his friends stopped dancing and looked at me in utter disapproval, steadfastly denying my departure. Next thing I knew two government officials were pinning me to my seat while a third shoved a beer in my hand. “Play more!” they were chanting, relishing in my obvious intoxication.


The next morning we stumbled to lunch, nursing hangovers with milk and bread only to be confronted with a feast more lavish than any of the others. Prawn, lobsters, intricately arranged artichokes and oysters served on fine china with golden chopsticks. The restaurants owner arrived and gave every man an eight-dollar pack of cigarettes, toasting everyone at the table one at a time. After a few drinks Johnny excused himself to vomit in the restroom, came back a ten minutes later, and continued drinking when the local police chief raised his glass. Once again there was no saying no, no chance of abstaining from this orgy or excess and so we drank and smoked again, more fearful of the silence that not doing so would bring to the table than the consequences to our bodies. In between toasts I attempted to eat my fill of the plentitude laid before me, difficult as the fast rate of drinking didn’t leave much time to actually eat. After lunch and with a belly more full of booze than food my partner and I decided it was time to go.
I usually try and hang out until the end. The best pictures are always found at the end of the night after hours of waiting, people are unguarded and receptive. The longer I hang out the easier it is to let go of my own hang-ups and apprehension and just trust in the pictures coming. So what happened in rural China with a bunch of drunken guys who wanted nothing more than to be my best friend? I turned my back when I should have stuck it out. I didn’t give it the time it needed or deserved and I walked away fully aware that it was too early to leave. Doing this kind of work is rarely fun and that’s something I already knew.


We left that afternoon, literally sneaking our bags out of the hotel moments before announcing an immediate departure. They all looked shocked that we would want to leave and tried to convince us to stay, pleading with us and promising more good times to come. But it was too late; we had made our move and surely lost face for Johnny. After much discussion we were eventually allowed to go but the tax collector insisted on escorting us to the nearest train station in his hired American luxury sedan. As we raced through the impoverished countryside of Fujian in a brand new Buick he turned around smiling and said, “your train doesn’t leave until nine o’clock so my friends in the city and I have arranged for one last dinner before you go.”

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